My father is so alive in my heart and brain everyday that it is scary. I missed him yesterday for Father's Day and the feelings rolled over into today. Today is one of those days when I really needed his concise, but truly insightful advice. He just had a way of summing up his thoughts in one or two sentences. It seemed to always hit the mark. I miss that so much. Since he never held back his opinions, I can usually figure out what his feelings would be on most of my current situations. Even though there was a time when I felt cursed because of my parents constant need to communicate their opinions of my actions and offer unsolicited advice, I actually feel quite lucky now that they did this. I am lucky because I hear their voices in my head about most everything and can still seek and follow their guidance. In other words, I often find myself receiving their advice even in their absence. I've been thinking about all of the advice my father gave me over the years, especially the last 5 of his life. I have also been thinking about his one line advice that never changed over the years. Things like...
"You can always tell the biggest dummy in the room because they are the ones talking the most."
"Everyone can't like you."
"Everyone can't like you."
"Tell them to go to hell."
"Do what makes you happy."
"No one respects a liar. Even if it is bad news, tell the truth."
"Don't giggle. If it is funny, laugh. People think gigglers are dumb."
"You better not bring a loser into this house."
"Don't take us back 5 generations."
"Study!"
"Know your place. Don't be tut-tut."
I lit his candle to honor him yesterday and to remind myself of his everlasting presence in my life. Thank you Lalo for being the voice in my head and for giving me a strong heart. I know that you never wanted me to be a "tonta" and I hope I am delivering on that.
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4 comments:
Your post made me laugh and cry!! I was cleaning out my bedroom and one of the my tasks in my room was to clean out the drawers to my dresser. I have one drawer that I keep odds and ends in (yes, I have a junk drawer next to my underwear drawer)and I came across one of dad's pocket knives... now you are probably asking yourself, "Syl, why do you have a knife next to your panty drawer?" But keep in mind who my father was. Anyhoo, I remembered the story Andrew shared with me about going to Ontario Mills Mall with Mom and Dad when he was about 5 years old. It was Christmas time and they were having a tough time finding a parking...finally, Mom spotted a car leaving and she sailed the Impala over to that spot. She put on her blinker and waited patiently. Andrew remembers how relieved she was to find a parking after driving around for a long time. As the car pulled out of the space and started to move along, some zippy car coming from the opposite direction zipped into the parking space leaving Mom with her mouth opened and Dad cursing. All Andrew remembers is Mom telling Dad,"Lalo, get your knife!" Andrew says the next thing he heard was POP... then... Sssssssss... (4 times) I kept trying to imagine dad going around the car to each tire sticking his knife and popping each one of them... could you see him shuffling around the car? Such a fond memory for Andrew of his Papa. Oye!!
HaHa! I always say that our outrageous parents were the Mexican Castanzas (think Seinfeld)!
I love your new blog, and I love your dad's one-liners, and I love the story Sylvia added in her comment. The thing is, your dad was a great man. I loved him dearly! And I'm so thankful that I was able to know him, able to laugh with him, and learn from him. Thanks for always including me!
Many people call their dads Pop, but in your dad's case, it has extra special meaning...goats, tires...The thing about the tire story that Syl added is that so many of us would want to do that, but would hold back. Your dad was bold enough to follow through.
Oh My Gosh!!! How did I miss this section of your blog!!! I am feeling the same as Syl - laughing and crying and thinking of your father. I can remember his voice and funny one liners as well. How many times would he say "For God Sakes!!" Growing up with you guys was so much fun and I can't imagine my life in Bell without you guys. Your house on Park Drive still looks the same!!! Thanks Lee for taking me back to such good memories...
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